softball softball and more softball

Today was a day full of softball for our family. Julia and Theresa had a double header in Fremont at 2:00 and Heather had a game in Alton at 2:00 as well.

Heath took Heather to her game which I did not get to watch because I was traveling to Fremont. Heather pitched the whole game this time and I heard did pretty good (I think Heather found her sport). Her team lost again, but Heather tried her best and even hit the ball a few times when up to bat. Heathers game lasted 3 hole hours.

Julia, Theresa, and I took off at 12:00 to get to their game an hour away. The game started late because the field was still in use. The first game they lost 9-2. They did really well working as a team out in the field. The second game went much quicker and they won 4-3. In the second game 6th inning Theresa caught 2 pop fly balls and then caught a line drive right to her. Three outs all by Theresa. Julia did well in the out field as well. Julia has quite a throw on her and can get the ball back to pitcher all the way from the back fence. She did that a couple of times.

Julia made the all stars team and will have her first practice tomorrow for all stars. I must say I am really proud of her-she works really hard. Theresa did not try out for all stars and I wish she had because she is really a great player.

Next weekend will be another fun filled softball weekend. Heather has a game Sat at 2:00 in New Durham and Julia/Theresa has another double header in Raymond at 2:00. Then we are headed to Lebanon on Sunday for another double header for Julia and Theresa. I love softball season.

Our adventurous day

Today we had a very adventurous day. We had lots of activities planned. The Cole family was up and out the door by 8:45 to go hike Mount Major. Even Patti (our dog) came with us. She was such a trooper made it up and down the mountain with out being carried this time. There were lots of other dogs on the trail and she acted as though she was the only one. We worked our way up the mountain with only one injury on the way up. Heather decided that she was going to climb up a small hill off the trail and fell. Oh boy the way that her ankle was against the rock when I got to her I thought for sure it was broken. She got away with only a few scrapes. Heather did not give up though. She kept going strong even with the scrapes and cuts on both her legs and her back. Theresa, Julia, and their friend kept up at a pace ahead of us for most of the walk.






The girls did great climbing up the rocks. When we got to the top we enjoyed the view and had a snack.


We headed back down the mountain after relaxing for a few.
We went back down a different trail what was 2 miles long. We all made it back to the bottom. (I made it- I was so proud of myself that Heath did not have to carry me)



After our very long hike Julia and Theresa had to go straight to practice. They were beat but survived. Then after having dinner we went to Manchester to watch the sky show which was great. We ended our day at 11:30.

up date

Well it has been a few days since I have posted anything so I will post a update about what has been going on in the life with all daughters. I will start with youngest to oldest.

Heather- Tuesday night I got a call from the coach that her game for Wednesday was canceled for some reason and Heather was very upset about it because she really looks forward to softball. Well about 45 minutes later we got a call from the 12U coach to see if Heather was doing anything on Wednesday night. He asked if she could come up and play for the majors at a game. Of course she said yes and was very excited. They had her pitch in the second half of the game. She did very well pitching to older girls. Heather was very proud of herself and we were very proud of her as well. There were 2 other girls from her team that were asked to come play in the game. That is the positive about Heather now I will move on to what happened at the meeting. We went over the evaluation and then changed her coding. She was previously coded with vision for her Special education coding and now it has been changed to primary- leaning disability, 2nd-speech and language, 3rd vision. The team was told that we need to decide what would be best for Heather- be in a classroom with a one on one aide or be in a room by herself with a one on one aide. If she is in the classroom with the other children then she will continue to become over whelmed and not be able to keep up with the others there for not progress as she should. If she is in a classroom by herself then she will progress academically but not socially. I feel it is a lose lose situation for Heather and I feel she should be placed in a different school where all areas can be met. I am trying to get an advocate for Heather and getting ready for a battle because I know it will not come easily.

Theresa is doing OK. We received her progress report yesterday and she currently holds 3 F's. The last report card she had nothing below a C so she has dropped in some grades. We had to have a big talk. She also had a Saturday morning detention this morning for refusing to stay at an after school detention with her computer teacher whom is a male and she would of been by herself. She felt very uncomfortable about it and refused. She got the detention because she got caught throwing things across the room (she can be a little trouble maker sometimes). That girl whom has been harassing her got beat up yesterday and not by Theresa. She called this girl who has some special needs a retard yesterday and the girl pushed her into the lockers, punched her in the face, and twisted her arm. I love that famous saying "what goes around comes around".

Julia is doing fabulous of course. She had all B's and C's on her progress report and great comments for her efforts and conducts. It still amazes me how well she is doing. Oh she did go on a trip to the ocean in a boat with a lab. She of course takes after her mother and got very sick and was throwing up over the side of the boat.

Nicole is graduating June 5th. I sent her an email to let her know that I will not be able to make it to the graduation. I hope she understands. I am deeply heart broken that I will not be able to attend. There is nothing I can do about that except hope that she can forgive me.

Heath is Heath and still great.

I have been having trouble sleeping because I just think and think. My allergies are really bad this year as well and I just want to cut my nose off.

Well all there is an update and hope you all have a fabulous weekend.

disrespect

Yesterday after getting out of work I went up to the PYW to check on the girls. The PYW is in the brick building that you see. Julia and Theresa were sitting in the Gazebo with some other kids that had a dog. I went to talk with Paula, works at the PYW, on the stairs of the PYW. Well the dog that was there was not on a leash and was running around the park. Zack, the director, came out after the kids that had the dog left and asked whom was over there. He asked who was wearing a green shirt because this guy who lives in a building that is on the side of the park called and said that the kids with the dog were being very rude and distrespecful to him when he asked them to put the dog on the leash. Well guess what my 2 daughters were with the group of kids and Julia had made a disrespectful comment to the man. I was so upset and embarrassed that my girls were involved. Of course the other kids left after it happened and Julia and Theresa were the only ones involved left. I made Julia and Theresa go and say sorry to the man. They were so upset with me but I do not want that kind of behavior from my girls. I went with them and as I was walking over Heath showed up and asked what we were doing. I explained to him and he sat and watched. I guess the guy that they were disrespectful to Heath knows and stayed to make sure that he did not begin being rude to us. ( I guess this guy is quite the loser). So the girls said sorry and Zack told them that he was very proud of them for saying sorry.

I do not want my girls to be the kids that are rude to others and I turned this into a life lesson, but boy were they mad at me. They got over it pretty fast though.

poems that touched my heart

A couple more poems that touched me...

To say goodbye
The moment I saw you,
I knew deep in my soul,
That saying goodbye,
would create in my heart a hole,
Your tiny fingers,
ten perfect toes,
it was completely a miracle,
seeing you, my love showed.
You were so perfect, so innocent, so pure.
I couldn't believe I made you,
But giving you up,
was something I wasn't sure I could do.
But seeing them hold you
the sparkles in their tired eyes
Brought ease to my heart
And love to my goodbyes
I knew the choice I was making was right, was good
Giving you to them was something that I should.
I left the hospital,
without you that day.
With a box of tissues,
as I stumbled away.
As the tears fell upon you,
as I whispered goodbye
I told you I love you and always will.
Dear Baby, you are the first love of my life.
The choices I made for us,
I felt were right.
They will love you and hold you,
sing you lullabies at night.
Give you more that I culd now.
I believe this is right.
I will miss you, I will cry,
but everyday I will know,
I gave them the world,
then, to you, I said goodbye.

Amanda Davis; September 17, 2002



The birthday wish continues...
As the mornings rise and I lie awake in bed,
so many words to say to you flow through my head.

As another day that is so cherished but painfully approaches once again,
I long to see your face and to know how you have been.

For each passing year brings me closer to hope,
I pray God blesses you with understanding and strength to cope.

Oh, I feel so much sorrow and dismay,
I pray you are happy and your life is okay.

They told me to do it that it was the right thing to do,
it didn't feel right but I did it for you.

On this 19 birthday of the baby girls face that I saw with a peek,
I once again blow you a kiss and pray it lands softly upon your beautiful cheek.

Vicki Tyra

The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption
By Brenda Romanchick

Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after
your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.

One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.

They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.

They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.

So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.

And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.

And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.

Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.

These are not the best pictures because I took them with my phone. My camera is at work and Julia's camera is at school. This is the dress that Theresa would like to wear to the semi-formal. It is peach. What do you think??

birth mothers day

Last week I was able to spend the day with my Beautiful children for mothers day. However there was one daughter whom was not here. Of course we talked and it was nice. I joined a support group last year for moms who gave children up for adoption. Today I am spending birth mothers day with the group of people whom I have been talking to online. We are meeting in Dover for a birth mothers day lunch in. I am excited but nervous because I do not do well with people I do not know. It will be nice to meet others whom have gone through some of the same things as I have.
Wish me luck.

update

I received a call from the DA's office yesterday. They first called to let me know that the creep got out on bail. The prosecutor and the defense attorney met yesterday and the bail was changed from $200,000 cash to $200,000 PR. He got out yesterday afternoon. They also wanted to let me know that the probable cause hearing for today was canceled because they agreed that there was enough evidience to support the charge so they do not need to go through that step. I do not know when the next hearing will be, they will let me know when a date has been set. I am sure that it was hard to keep him in when it came out that he had not been running from a warrant for 3 years and that the Pittsfield police just never put it into the data base. I am however thankful that they did not just cancel it.

Birthday

Today My Baby turns 11 years old. Where does the time go?? My Heather has some challenges to face, but I know that she is a strong and determined girl who will not give up until she succeeds.

My Julia

You would never have guessed 3 years ago that my baby Julia would turn out so great. Look at the smile on her face. Of course if you look at the top picture you will see what we are doing to make her smile that much more beautiful (not that she really needs it). It just amazes me every time I look at her how well she is doing now. The reason I wanted to share this is because she is doing so well. This year in school she is in all the general classes that everyone else is in except math and English. In the classes other than these two she is doing just about all the work that others are doing with a few modifications. For the past 3 weeks she has been working on a evolution project for her biology class. They had to present the project as a news paper. Because she has an IEP she had to do 1 lead story instead of 2 and 1 editorial instead of 2. She also had to do a time line and interview with Charles Darwin. She did this completely on her own The only part that I did was type the paper for her in the newspaper format that was a little tricky. Julia did the time line completey on her own. Julia got an A on the assigment. I am so proud of my baby. She has grown up so much in the last year that it just takes my breath away. Not only has she grown up so much she is also a great teenager. I could not ask for a better Julia.










And to top it all off Julia and Theresa get along so great now. Of course they still get into arguments often, but lets face it they are two hormonal teens. (don't you just love the picture of them just being goofy)

so sick of this

So in a previous blog-other peoples kids-I talked about this girl who is harassing Theresa. Well this girl is still at it. Yesterday and today this girl has told teachers that Theresa punched her in the face and she is getting written up. The vice principal was not there today so she will have to wait til tomorrow to speak to him. I talked to a guy at school whom Theresa talks to a lot and she had went to see him today because it happened again. He told me that Theresa came to him and told him that she wanted to punch this girl in the face but she hasn't. I just want her to beat the crap out of this girl at least when she gets blamed it will be the truth. I am just so sick of it.

Over whelmed

I am beginning to feel a little over whelmed with my life right now. At times I just want to sit down all alone and cry. I hate having so much on my mind and not being able to get rid of it.

First there is my lovely Theresa and everything that we are going to have to go though over the next who ever knows how long. I am going to the probable cause hearing on Friday and I am terrified that everything is going to get dropped because of the Pittsfield Police. If it doesn't I am worried about my baby and how she is going to do testifying. I will be there for her though.

Then there is my little Heather. We have her meeting next Wednesday to go over her evaluation from Boston Children's hospital and rewrite her IEP. I did not realize that her learning disability was so severe and now I just feel so sad for her and how she has struggled. I also worry not knowing what the future holds. I have read and reread the reports several times and I feel so stupid that I do not understand what it all means. I have called the director of Pupil Services (Tobi) at the school to see if we could set up a time to get toghether to go over the reports so I will understand it more, but she has not called me back yet. I am however thankful that she is succeding in softball so that she can have something to look forward to.

Last but not least-my Nicole. She is graduating June 5th from High school and wanted me to be there. However it doesn't look like that is going to happen. Heath was laid off for several months and the money that I had been saving had to go to bills. I just hope that she can understand. Nicole is going into the Navy and will be heading out to boot camp in the Great Lakes, so maybe I will be able to make it to that graduation.

Thank goodness Julia is doing so much better so I do not have that on my plate as well.

Enough venting all-thanks for reading.

Theresa's new hair cut

Theresa, with permission from me, made an appoitment with the hair dresser across the street. I feel that she is old enough to go on her own. I came home from work to see her new hair style. Theresa is very happy with it and I think it looks nice.

Heather and her first day of pitching

Heather had a softball game that lasted today for 3 hours. OH my it was a long game but it was a close game. Pittsfield 21-New Durum 24. It was a really good game and Heather did great. Heather got to pitch the first 3 innings of the game. During each of the three innings she striked 2 players out for a total of 6. Most of the points for New Durum came during the last 3 innings. But we have to remember that all players need to have a chance to practice different positions.



Heather had a great time and it was a great boost in self-confidence for her. Oh by the way she hit the ball a few times as well.

Pittsfield police

Good morning- I was going to come on last night and post a blog about the information that I learned yesterday. However, the night before I did not sleep well and by the time I got back from Heather's game at 8:00 I was just to tired to do anything. Heather did good in her game. She had an amazing hit that went way out in the outfield.

Yesterday the Victim/witness coordinator from the Merrimack County Attorney office. This is the person that we will have most contact with. She explained a little about victims rights and what rights Theresa has and that Heath and I have the same rights as her because she is a minor. The probable cause hearing is May 15th at 10 in the district court. After that preceding will be at the superior court. I am to going to that hearing, however she said that because I was told right after the incident by Theresa they may try to sequester me from the preceding. She said that it will be harder to do because I am not only a witness I am a victim too.

She told me that she did not have the file from the police on the arrest yet and asked me how it came about. I told her that I got the address and gave it to the Pittsfield PD. I explained a little on how the warrant was issued after Josh went to federal prison and then when he was released the said there was nothing they could do. I then explained how he was in town and they said if I get an address they will serve the warrant. I then told her that the officer called me back and told me that he renewed his license with a Manchester address in Novemeber. She told me that the warrarnt was never placed in the data base by Pittsfield police. If they had placed it in the data base he would have been sent back up here when he got out of federal prision. I said I dont place much faith in Pittsfield and her response was I dont want to point fingers and place blame because we all work for the state however it sounds like I should not have much faith either. Her office has thier own investigator whom will be contacting us. She told me not to contact the Pittsfield police concerning this matter at all. All communications should be done through the Merrimack County Attorneys office. She said we will do everything we can to prosocute him.

I swear if this gets thrown out becasue of Pittsfield police I do not know what I will do.

mothers day card

Today at work I received a card from a girl at work. I wanted to share it with you. This card made me feel very good. It said:
Jen,
I think that you are an amazing mother. You girls are so blessed to have you! Someday, when they are mothers themselves they will begin to realize how hard your job is and remember how easy you make it look. You are a wonder, and a role model, to young girls. And to all of us mothers you are an inspiration! Thank you.

I almost cried reading this card.

Arraignment

Heath and I went to the arraignment today. He is being held on $200,000 cash bail. Because of his past offenses of selling coke he will have to have a hearing to show where he got the money for the bail to make sure it is not drug money. The probable cause hearing is on May 15th. It doesn't look like he will be going anywhere before then. If he does he has to stay away from Theresa and not be alone with children under 13

FINALLY

I just wanted to take a moment and update everyone on my investigation on the creep that hurt my baby Theresa. After 3 long years he has finally been served his warrant and is behind bars temperately. With my fake my space I was able to lure him in and get a current address for him. Pittsfield faxed Nashua the warrant and he was picked up yesterday. It is unknown if he has been bailed out or not but at least he was finally caught.

Today Heather had her first softball game. Right before her game started a girl on her team went up and pushed down on her visor and broke her glasses right in half. I could not believe it. I know it was an accident but I still could not believe it. The girls mother is an assistant coach on her team and no one even came up and said sorry. Heather still played in the game as catcher and got hit a quite a few times by the ball but never gave up. So needless to say we will be headed to Concord to get her some new glasses.

Investigation

well my investigation has proved to be worth it. Tonight I went on line and chatted with the loser. We made plans to meet at his house in Nashua. He gave me his phone number and address. Even directions where to go in the building. I have called the Pittsfield Police and they are faxing the warrent to Nashua. With any luck he will be in jail over the weekend.

kids kids kids

So the other night I was sitting here on the computer trying to put songs on Julia's MP3 player from Itunes. I did not think that it would work but it is no use trying to argue with a 15 year old. When it did not work she said will you get me a new MP3 player. I said to her no I thought you wanted a new phone. Then she went on to argue with me about it. She kept on making comments so I ignored her. She then kept saying that I need to take a course on manners and that I was being disrespectful to her. I said what do you think you are doing right now. I asked her several times to go to her room and she did not. She told me that I should have asked her nicely and said please. She told me ignoring her was very disrespectful and I said what would you rather me do come and drag you by the hair to your room? (of course I did not do that) Finally after she would not stop I asked Theresa and Heather to come in my room with me and she decided that she was going to go on the computer so I took the mouse and keyboard. She got upset even more and stood with her foot in the door so I could not close it. I was trying to remove her foot. Julia then made a comment that turned every thing way worse. She said to me "you are ruining my life". I remember making that comment when I was young and my response to her she took completely the wrong way. I said "you dont deserve a life right now". I was meaning you should be in your room with nothing and have no life with computer, phone, and friends. She thought I meant to die. She said "you just stepped over the line and left the house. Heath found her at the park sitting in the bleachers and started crying as soon as she got in the truck. Oh my goodness I felt so bad. I explained to her what I meant and she still was not ready to talk with me. SHe did not talk with me for the rest of the night. Finally the next morning she started telling me about her dream. I stopped her and said "I am sorry for saying that you didnt deserve a life and I did not mean it like that- are you ready to say sorry for the choices you made?" She said sorry really quick with out meaning and continued on about her dream.

Oh how quickly the young can forget what happened and go on with what ever. I still feel guilty about her taking the comment the wrong way.